Our kids have suffered because their dads have been made fun of, received little (if any) encouragement or help with parenting. Look at movies, TV shows and popular culture over the past 20 years. Dads have been the brunt of jokes; mercilessly made fun of by moms and kids in sitcoms and often portrayed as dim-witted pushovers with nothing significant to give their family. This breaks my heart because I have listened to thousands of kids over 30 years who desperately want and need their dads involved in their lives. From a child’s perspective, the negative messages dads receive about their significance to them are 100% untrue.
We have serious problems on our hands. The level of depression in kids is rising at a frightening pace. The Surgeon General has publicly stated that social media is dangerous for kids. Young teens are confused about who they are: a girl or a boy, gay or straight, smart of dumb, likeable or unlikable and whether or not there is a point to living. They don’t know where (or if) they fit anywhere and are desperately searching for a solid place to land. We have a huge part of the answer: Dads. But we don’t let them know this.
Making fun of dads and marginalizing them needs to stop. Life is far too hard for our kids. The narrative for dads must change and I am thrilled to be part of it. Dads need to be encouraged to use their masculine instincts to protect, lead, guide and teach their kids. No more backseats for them. Dads are wired to engage and bring stability to their kids but we have believed that if we champion mothers, then we must diminish the importance of dads. It’s high time that we champion both because each is critical to the emotional and physical health of their kids.
Many parents want to ignore the influence that the world around our kids has on them. I get it. We want to believe that our daughter won’t be affected by social media, that our sons won’t see porn or be affected by violent video games and movies. Drugs won’t be an issue for our kids and neither will alcohol or sex. We must open our eyes to the possible and very real dangers each of our kids faces and do whatever we can to keep them on the right path. And we can.
That’s why I have created videos and courses specifically for fathers. In these videos and courses, I help fathers see themselves through their kids’ eyes because once they do this -even for ten minutes- their lives will never be the same.
In my course, The New Era of Fatherhood, I review 4 specific things your son or daughter needs from you. Then I show you how to give them to your kids step-by-step. Your child wants you, dad:
- To be a Leader
Your children want you to lead, whether they admit this or not. They are secretly looking to you, begging for you to show them which way they should go and how to make decisions and handle tough issues.
- To Engage with them
The number one thing your kids tell me they want from you is to engage them more. They want you to ask how their day was, to be curious about who they hang out with, what activities they enjoy and the things they are passionate about. If there’s even a small part of you saying “my kids don’t care what I think” – tell that part to shut up, because it’s wrong!
- To be a Stabilizer
Your kids’ world is full of uncertainty and instability. They are being blown by the ever-changing winds of popular culture and they need you to be their steady ground! When you hold firm in your decisions and take charge of problems, they feel safe and secure.
- To remain Tenderhearted
Before you roll your eyes at me, hear me out. This one is deeply important. Your kids need to see and hear you show affection and express your love for them. To grow up with confidence in who they are as individuals, they have to know, deep down, that “Dad loves me. He will always love me, no matter what I do.” You may be the most professional, hard-hitting businessman or athlete but when you come home – your kids need your beating heart that loves and cherishes them.
Dads, I’d love to have the opportunity to guide you through this material in the New Era of Fatherhood. I’ll ask you tough questions about your strengths and flaws as a parent. You have the chance to write your own story with your kids…and you have the power to make it a really good story.
The time to embrace the New Era of Fatherhood is long overdue. Our kids have suffered far too long because you dads are being told you aren’t as important as your kids’ mothers. So, look up. From today forward, life can be better. You can have more influence over your kids and be closer to them. And know this: You already have everything you need to be a great dad, not just a good one. I would be honored to help you.
Stay tuned for the release of my upcoming
course, The New Era of Fatherhood.
