Dear Dr. Meg,

I’m a devoted reader of yours. I love the advice you give, and I am in desperate need of some now.

I have a four-year-old, and his father and I do not live together. In fact, his father still lives at home with his mom and dad. My son’s father is 30 and he has no—absolutely no—motivation or desire to move out. He is the oldest of four siblings, all two years apart, and they ALL still live at home. They don’t pay rent, and barely help their mother out with chores. She works full-time and is going to school.

My problem is that my son’s father works midnights on the police dept, is in FOP, and some days has court. So, he’s either out or sleeping, leaving the responsibility to his parents to take care of my son when he’s over there.

They spoil him to no end. He can do NO wrong in their eyes. My son comes home to my house and tells me he hates me, kicks me, gouges at my eyes, and tells me to “stop looking at him.” He has a potty mouth, saying things like, “stupid this and stupid that” and…