A good stepparent can literally turn the life of a child around. So while the task may feel unbearable at times, the rewards are unparalleled. I know. I’ve seen a lot of great stepparents in action.
One of my readers recently asked me to write specifically about stepmothers and stepdaughters. Let’s take a look into this (often complicated) relationship:
First, remember that being the same sex sets up tension because stepdaughters may feel that stepmothers are competing with biological mothers and with the daughter themselves. You get the double-whammy. Biologic mothers simply contend with a daughter wanting to compete with her. Second, a stepmother comes into the life of a young girl who already has a mother-daughter relationship established. Whether that relationship is good or bad, the stepmother needs to understand that the daughter already has a pattern of relating with which she is very familiar. Naturally, the daughter will tend to repeat the same type of relating when it comes to communicating with her stepmother.
Here’s my advice for you stepmothers…
- Take a deep breath and move slowly. Then move slower still. Your job is to help your new daughter over many years. Don’t move into her life…
