The words we speak around our children are powerful and impact them more than we know. Even if we’re talking about our children when they’re not in the room, what we believe about them shows up in what we say about them, and will shape them more than we could ever imagine. I know this from experience.

What we believe about our children shows up in the words we speak to and about them.

In September 1979, my father spoke a single sentence that changed my life. I had graduated from Mt. Holyoke College earlier in the year and had been rejected from several medical schools, so I was living at home pondering Plan B. One evening, on my way upstairs, I overheard my father talking to a friend on the phone.

“Yes,” he was saying. “They really do grow up fast, don’t they? I’m excited to tell you that my daughter, Meg, will be starting medical school next fall.  She’s not quite sure where, though.”

My head went hot. What was he saying? Medical school? I’d just received a handful of rejections. I’ll be going to medical school next fall? How can he say that? What does he know that…