Every morning (well- most mornings) I wake up and try to think of ways that I can make my husband’s day nicer. Why? Grace.
Before you ladies scream, let me tell you about grace. I don’t mean grace that I give my husband, but grace he gave me. When I was graduating medical school and applying for pediatric residencies, we had a 6 month old baby. We both needed to do residency training but knew that it wasn’t fair to our daughter for both of us to be working 90 hours per week at the same time. What to do? I fretted.
Then my husband said something extraordinary. “If I do residency now and you stay home with our daughter, you may never go back to work. But if I stay home and take care of her and you do residency first, I know that I’ll go back.” He was right. I knew that if I didn’t do my residency right away, I might bail. I really wanted to be home with our daughter.
For the next 3 ½ years, my husband was Mr. Mom. He woke in the night to feed our daughter, he took her on walks in the woods, to the grocery store, on bike rides and even cross country skiing. He cooked and cleaned the house. He even sewed our daughter clothes. This was during the days when men weren’t staying home with children as frequently as they are now. What’s more, he grew up with three sisters and a full time stay at home mother.
Each year I was a pediatric resident, I was pregnant. I would have a baby and give it to him then go back to work. He never complained. And this was one of the sweetest times in our 35 year marriage. For those 3 ½ years, he showed me grace- favor that I really didn’t deserve.
What happens to someone who receives loads of grace? They want to return it. That’s a lesson all married couples must learn. If you really want a great relationship with your spouse, give it a try. Extend to your spouse kindness and favor that they really don’t deserve. You will see them transform before your eyes.
