As a father, I’m sure there are things that you wish you knew about your children; so let me help you out. As a ‘professional’ listener of children for 30 years now, I have learned a lot about them. Your children want and need a lot from you but those needs and wants might surprise you. Let’s look at a few.

Your children want your company, not nicer clothes, a newer phone or a bigger house. Why is this? Because children are fundamentally self-centered and being with you makes then feel valuable. When your children mow the lawn beside you, help you run errands or chop wood, they watch how you respond to them. If they see that you enjoy their company they feel more respectable and more self-confident. Nicer clothes, playing soccer better or living in a bigger home can’t give them self-confidence like spending time with you can.

Being with you is the best safeguard against the “big” trouble in life. That’s right. Children who live with their fathers are at lower risk for drinking, being sexually active, depressed or getting into trouble at school. The flip side is this: living with you helps your children get better grades,…