Find out your parenting style with my parent personality quiz!

Find out your parenting style with my parent personality quiz!

COURSE LOGIN

Ask Dr. Meg: Teaching Girls About True Beauty

Picture of Dr. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker

Dear Dr. Meg,

I just finished reading your book, Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters.  I am a proud father to a 2 ½-year-old daughter and an eight-month-old son.  I absolutely loved your book.  It will certainly be one that I read over and over as the years pass.  I especially enjoyed the content dedicated to our ever-growing, hypersexual society and its impact on our young daughters.  I am a plastic surgeon in Montana who does mostly reconstructive work, but a small part of my practice is cosmetic.  As my daughter gets older, how can I reassure her that she doesn’t need these procedures to be the beautiful person she already is?  Have you treated or been involved with children/families of plastic surgeons?

Thank you kindly for your time,

A Fellow Doctor

Dear AFD,

Yes! You can help your daughter grow up with a healthy self-esteem and teach her that her beauty and value do not come from her looks. It is hard in a culture that idolizes unrealistic and false beauty. Believe it or not, about 7-8 years ago many parents on the West Coast gave their graduating daughters breast augmentation surgery as high school graduation gifts! I know because I was called in to help.

Here’s how you can win this battle.

First, you must remember that your beliefs about your daughter’s value and beauty will always be far more important to her than her friends’ and the culture’s.

Second, as she grows older, train yourself to verbally applaud her character. If she is patient, courageous, empathetic, trustworthy, humble, etc., praise her for these. Try very hard not to comment on her physical appearance because regardless of what you say, at different stages in her life she will misinterpret your comments. Fathers feel that frequently telling their daughters that they are pretty helps boost their self-esteem.

Sometimes it does, but the problem is then the girls will work harder on their beauty in order to get more attention from their dads.

It is critical that as your daughter grows older you spend relaxed time with her. Nothing makes a girl feel more valuable than recognizing her father enjoys her company. Knowing that you want her to join you when you do chores, errands, run to your office for a moment or just take a walk, lets her know that you really enjoy being with her. This will make a huge impact on her sense of value.

In my chapter, Teach Her to Fight, I address how fathers can help their daughters recognize toxic messages from our culture and then reverse them in their minds. You can do this very well with your daughter and when she is around 10 years old, I encourage you to reread the chapter and put it to use. It really does work.

Finally, you are going to have to do some soul searching regarding the surgery that you do. Reconstructive work is tremendous and you are in a position to dramatically change people’s lives. But if you find yourself doing breast augmentations, tummy tucks or unnecessary elective cosmetic surgery on young girls, you will send your daughter mixed messages. Eventually, she will find out what you do and I think that you will have some explaining to do.

I take care of many physicians’ children and regardless of their specialty; all physicians have these difficult decisions to make. I did with my own four children and found that there were some medical recommendations that I could never, in good conscience, give.

Something tells me that you are going to have one strong young woman on your hands one day. Better start saving up for medical school tuition right away.

Regards,

Dr. Meg

Our Sponsors

Skylight-Meeker

Skylight Digital Picture Frames are the perfect bridge connecting you to the special moments of those you love! It’s private, pre-loadable, and you can personalize it! Visit SkylightFrame.com

K12 Powered Schools: State-certified teachers and trained online educators. Go to K12.com/DRMEG today to learn more and find a tuition-free K12-powered school near you.

As a practicing pediatrician and mother I recommend Phyla because it works wonders without any side effects and is backed by dermatologists.

Visit phylabiotics.com, enter code DRMEEKER at checkout, and start your journey to healthier skin.

Here’s the perfect gift to inspire and delight that young person in your life!

Sign up at Crunchlabs.com/DRMEG and get 2 boxes free!

That’s why you’ve got to check out AquaTru.

AquaTru purifiers use a 4-stage reverse osmosis purification process, and their countertop purifiers work with NO installation or plumbing.

Transform Your Tap Water

Air Doctor

Air Doctor, purification to protect your home! Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code DRMEG and you’ll receive UP TO $300 off air purifiers!

Cozy Earth
Our goal is to help you create a sanctuary within your home, a refuge from the demands of the outside world.

Head over to cozyearth.com and use promo code DRMEG for an exclusive 35% off.

Acorns makes it easy to start automatically saving and investing for your future. Head to acorns.com/ or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future today!

Your pet can’t choose healthy, but you can! Choose Whole Life Pet for human grade, freeze-dried, nutrient-rich, all natural food and treats for your dog or cat!

Visit wholelifepet.com

Born Shoes

Step into comfort by visiting BornShoes.com and take advantage of our exclusive offer. Use promo code DRMEG to enjoy a 15% discount and receive free ground shipping on all full-price shoes.

Green-chef-Meeker
The #1 Meal Kit for Eating well. Go to greenchef.com/60drmeg and use code 60drmeg to get 60% off plus 20% off your next two months.  greenchef.com to start now! 
Masimo-stork-baby-monitor

Masimo Stork is a revolutionary new baby monitor. SET technology has been in use for 25 years in the NICU units of America’s hospitals – now that same technology is available at home. Masimo Stork tracks real time, with your baby’s pulse rate, oxygen saturation, and skin temperature. While not a medical device, it can ensure more confident and calmer parenting. To learn more, go to masimostork.com.

Sponsors

Skylight-Meeker

Skylight Digital Picture Frames are the perfect bridge connecting you to the special moments of those you love! It’s private, pre-loadable, and you can personalize it! Visit SkylightFrame.com

Crunch-Labs-Meeker

Here’s the perfect gift to inspire and delight that young person in your life! The CrunchLabs build box subscription. Crunchlabs packs the fun into science by sending kids a new toy to build each month. And everyone’s favorite youtuber Mark Rober’s teaches them how! Kids LOVE IT! Go to Crunchlabs.com/DrMeg and get yours today!

Powerful purification to protect your home

Lock this special offer by going to A-I-R-D-O-C-T-O-R-P-R-O dot com and use promo code DRMEG.

Discover luxury she deserves!

Head over to cozyearth.com and use promo code DRMEG for an exclusive 35% off.

Save, invest and learn from one easy app.

Visit acorns.com

Your pet can’t choose healthy, but you can! Choose Whole Life Pet for human grade, freeze-dried, nutrient-rich, all natural food and treats for your dog or cat!

Visit wholelifepet.com

Step into comfort by visiting BornShoes.com and take advantage of our exclusive offer. Use promo code DRMEG to enjoy a 15% discount and receive free ground shipping on all full-price shoes.

Green-chef-Meeker
The #1 Meal Kit for Eating well. Go to greenchef.com/60drmeg and use code 60drmeg to get 60% off plus 20% off your next two months.  greenchef.com to start now! 
Masimo-stork-baby-monitor

Masimo Stork is a revolutionary new baby monitor. SET technology has been in use for 25 years in the NICU units of America’s hospitals – now that same technology is available at home. Masimo Stork tracks real time, with your baby’s pulse rate, oxygen saturation, and skin temperature. While not a medical device, it can ensure more confident and calmer parenting. To learn more, go to masimostork.com.

More Posts

Sponsors

Skylight Digital Picture Frames are the perfect bridge connecting you to the special moments of those you love!

Here’s the perfect gift to inspire and delight that young person in your life! The CrunchLabs build box subscription.

Your pet can’t choose healthy, but you can! Choose Whole Life Pet for human grade, freeze-dried, nutrient-rich, all natural food and treats for your dog or cat!

Masimo Stork is a revolutionary new baby monitor. SET technology has been in use for 25 years in the NICU units of America’s hospitals.

The #1 Meal Kit for Eating well. Go to greenchef.com/60drmeg and use code 60drmeg to get 60% off plus 20% off your next two months.  

Thrive Market – the customized and economical way to shop organic, non-gmo, and healthy.

Website-Dr. Meeker (8)
Feeling a a bit uneasy about having "the talk" with your son or daughter?
Dr. Meeker is here to help! “How to Talk to Your Kids about Puberty & Sex (ages 8-18)” is her most comprehensive course ever and she’ll equip you to have that conversation with knowledge, confidence and sensitivity. Check it out!

More Tools to Simplify Fatherhood