Let’s back up and look at why we discipline our children. Is it to make them do what we say or become who we want them to be? Not really. We discipline our children to teach them to have self-control. We know that a person cannot be successful in his/her profession, at school or in relationships if they don’t have self -control.  Good discipline teaches children and teens this.

We teach self-control by placing boundaries for children that they are not allowed to cross. At first, we must impose control until they learn to take control responsibly. If a child crosses those boundaries, he must have consequences. If he sees you roll your eyes or wring your hands when he disobeys, he learns that he really can’t get in control. This makes his self esteem go down and it weakens your relationship with him.

Every child has an Achilles heel and you must find it. It is different in every child. Your child must learn that if he disobeys, life stings. Something is taken away. When you do this repeatedly over time, most children learn to obey because crossing boundaries isn’t worth the consequence. The question is: what if nothing works…