Revisiting a chapter in 10 Habits of Happy Mothers today (Habit #5: Create a Healthy Relationship with Money).
I thought this one was particularly timely, given that most of us are out in the malls shopping for presents for our kids this time of year. As you do shop for that “perfect gift,” hope you can keep this lesson in mind:
“Providing the right stuff–opportunities, shoes, private schools, skating lessons, etc.–has become the gold standard for many parents when it comes to excellent parenting. Since each of us longs to be the best mother possible, we quickly ride the same train in order to be better. The problem is, we are duped. Rarely do kids describe their mothers as being fabulous moms because of the material things they provide. When I ask adult children about their parents, they talk about their greatness in terms of their kindness, affection and caring. (Yes, and they even describe their favorite foods their mother made). Young kids talk to me about their mom’s moods, how fun they are, or whether they are crabby. They don’t boast about their shoes, their schools or the sports they play when talking about their mothers. They talk about their moms and what their moms give them.
As far as kids are concerned, good mothers are known by their character, not by the education, clothes or coaches they supply.
So, why then, do we frenetically chase and pay for so many things for our kids?”