Parents consistently lament to me that their sons won’t listen and behave. Their discipline falls on deaf ears and stony hearts.
Well, there’s a secret to disciplining boys. Boys will do virtually anything their fathers want them to do.
Even at three years old, every boy wants to feel loved, accepted and valued. They quickest way he knows how to get there is by seeing mom or dad happy with him. That doesn’t change. A parent’s job is to understand this need and meet it. It gets hard because most parents get exhausted. And when the teen years hit, and our boys are home less, we feel pressured to get our points across quickly and emphatically.
In short, we speak (or lecture) too soon, too frequently to our sons and fail to give them an ear. No boy listens to a parent who lectures before he listens. No son wants his father’s advice if he is repeatedly interrupted or criticized. The truth is most sons already know the point a mother or father wants to drive home. Sons know what you like, dislike, want, or expect from them. That’s why, when dealing with a teenager, it’s less important to talk than to listen.
Many have heard the old adage that for every criticism made to a child, seven compliments must follow.
In the teen years, it is equally important that your son has seven times as much positive time with you (listening to him) as he has negative time (criticizing or correcting him).
Source: Boys Should Be Boys
