Find out your parenting style with my parent personality quiz!

Find out your parenting style with my parent personality quiz!

COURSE LOGIN

Stay Or Leave? An Unfaithful Spouse

Dr. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker

Dear Dr. Meg,

I’ve been married for 19 years and in 2009 my husband had an affair and was ready to leave our kids and me. We went to some therapy with a psychologist and our priest.   Things were good for a while but in 2013 it happened again.  I also learned he had an affair when I was pregnant with our 1st.  Am I crazy for staying with him?

Signed,

Wife of an Unfaithful Spouse

Dear WOAUS,

No, you are not crazy to stay with him. In fact, I admire you. Clearly, your husband has some emotional issues and they are being worked out through having affairs. He must be a terribly insecure man.

The reasons that men have affairs are varied. Many wives blame themselves but this is misguided because no matter how strained a marriage is, having an affair is never justified. I think that you are a great mother. Your children may think that you are crazy to put up with your husband’s affairs, but as they mature they will understand that you did the best thing for them. Think about it like this; it is better for kids to stay in a home with married parents where one parent is unfaithful than to live with divorced parents. The harm that they endure from an unfaithful father is far less severe than what they would experience from divorce.

I would strongly encourage you to get some help for yourself so that you can stay emotionally healthy and strong. He may continue to act out because he knows that he can and perhaps he knows that you won’t demand anything better from him. I encourage you to toughen up. No, you do not want to threaten to leave, but you need to demand some respect for yourself and the marriage.

I’m sure that friends will tell you that you are crazy but also think about this: if you do leave him, then you are putting your children in a position where they will have to deal with their father’s habits on their own. They would have to go to his house and see him with other women and this could be devastating for them. And there would be nothing that you could do about it!

You are a good woman. Keep getting stronger and try not to listen to the negative banter out there. You are doing the right thing for your family.

Signed,

Dr. Meg

Sponsors

Skylight Digital Picture Frames are the perfect bridge connecting you to the special moments of those you love! It’s private, pre-loadable, and you can personalize it! Visit SkylightFrame.com

Crunch-Labs-Meeker

Here’s the perfect gift to inspire and delight that young person in your life! The CrunchLabs build box subscription. Crunchlabs packs the fun into science by sending kids a new toy to build each month. And everyone’s favorite youtuber Mark Rober’s teaches them how! Kids LOVE IT! Go to Crunchlabs.com/DrMeg and get yours today!

Masimo-stork-baby-monitor

Masimo Stork is a revolutionary new baby monitor. SET technology has been in use for 25 years in the NICU units of America’s hospitals – now that same technology is available at home. Masimo Stork tracks real time, with your baby’s pulse rate, oxygen saturation, and skin temperature. While not a medical device, it can ensure more confident and calmer parenting. To learn more, go to masimostork.com.

Website-Dr. Meeker (8)
Feeling a a bit uneasy about having "the talk" with your son or daughter?
Dr. Meeker is here to help! “How to Talk to Your Kids about Puberty & Sex (ages 8-18)” is her most comprehensive course ever and she’ll equip you to have that conversation with knowledge, confidence and sensitivity. Check it out!

More Tools to Simplify Fatherhood