Every week I see young kids and parents who are seriously overweight and my heart sinks. No 11-year-old girl wants stretch marks over her belly and no 8-year-old boy should feel embarrassment and grief because he can’t keep up with his basketball team during sprints. But here’s the toughest part – most parents don’t want to address weight issues in their children because they (usually mothers in my experience) feel so much shame about themselves.

They feel shame on two accounts. First, parents feel guilty because their children are overweight and second, they feel ashamed because they honestly believe that they can’t control their own weight. So, they figure: how can I help my child if I can’t even control my own eating habits? And the parent and child stay stuck, trapped in bodies that feel like prisons. But I know this – any parent can break out of this cycle.

Most parents don’t address weight issues in their kids because they feel shame about themselves.

When parents feel deep-seated shame, we punish ourselves. That’s what shame does. It moves in like a beast with a thousand tentacles and strangles our minds, feelings and ultimately behaviors. Let’s look at how this…