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Reality Check: Providing for Our Kids

Dr. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker

We mothers are suppliers.  We love our kids through giving them food, protection, love and security.  This time of year, it’s important to remember that there are ways to show your children love other than supplying the material things they want for Christmas.  There’s something else we should be providing them so they grow up whole and strong and foundationally sound.

What we need is a reality check. So here we go.

Reality # 1: What makes us good mothers has nothing to do with money or how many presents we buy them at Christmastime.

The best of what we give our kids comes from our attention, time and affections. Supplying them with these things changes their character and impacts their futures. So let’s focus on giving our kids more of these and watch their lives really change.

Reality # 2: We are happier mothers when we focus less on money.

The happiest mothers I see rarely talk about money. They talk about people, relationships, vacations with loved ones, struggles they endured with friends or moments which made them laugh uncontrollably.

Concentrating on making money makes us miserable. So why do we do it? We do it because we hold onto the hope that if we just get a little more money, then life will be better. We all know that this isn’t true, so let’s stop living like it is. The great rewards in life come when we challenge ourselves to be more patient, disciplined and compassionate mothers. Let’s give it a go.

Reality # 3: What we own (or can own) doesn’t determine our worth as women.

Most of us struggle with self esteem issues . We feel better about ourselves if we drive snappy cars, wear gorgeous clothes or live in nice homes. And let’s not forget the “thin” factor. Of course we must be thinner to feel more valuable. Why? Because we are duped into believing that these things really make us more significant as women. So let’s stop living like these things determine our worth.

What makes each of us valuable is our ability to love a friend when others have abandoned her or to listen to a child whose heart is broken. We are significant because each of us has extraordinary gifts which we can use to make others’ lives better.

What do you think? Is it harder to remember these lessons during this time of year?

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