Dear Dr. Meg,

I need suggestions on how to bond with my son. I tend to focus on the negative, and get highly annoyed by any little thing he does. I just bought your book, Strong Mothers Strong Sons and Boys Should Be Boys.  I have started reading Strong Mothers Strong Sons.  I had a rude awakening today when my son revealed to me that he told his PSR teacher that I have said he’s a jerk.  I did say this to very insolent & disobedient behavior, but it seems like this behavior never stops. He’s 4, almost 5 and is adopted. We got him at 15-months with his little sister who was 3-months. I’m sad by both our behaviors. Help!

Sincerely,

Tanya

Dear Tanya,

Here’s the good news: you recognize that you have a problem with your tongue and this is huge. Really, all mothers get frustrated with their children but many never recognize that they need to change. You are right. You must change the way you speak to your son. There is no excuse for calling him a jerk (or any other mean name)- ever. I know that you meant to refer to his behavior, but what your…