I love watching the Olympics, but somehow, it pushes my parenting buttons. “Oohing and ahhing” at young, elite athletes makes me question my own parenting. I wonder (though not voice out loud), Should I have pushed my own kids more and helped them get to the Olympics? I never verbalize this because it reveals the embarrassing belief that I had the power to get my kids there.

I, like many of you, will continue to question the decisions I made as a parent until I die; but in the meantime, I must contend with my insecurities. Here’s the bigger issue: Why do we parents constantly wonder if we should have gotten our kids to a different place than where they already are? It doesn’t matter if our kids are 9 or 29, we all doubt our decisions. I think we do this because we feel peer pressure and deep down, we make parenting a whole lot more complicated (really) than it needs to be.

First, we assume that we have the power to make our children into people that they aren’t.

I see this all the time with parents in my practice. They tell their kids that they’re smart, capable, and…