Just as you trained your mind to interrupt those negative thoughts and replace them with a positive- YES thought, let me throw you a curveball. I want you to grab hold of another powerful parenting word: NO. Believe it or not, learning when and how to effectively say “No” will change your life and your child’s. Here’s why.
If you are a kind, American woman (or man) I’ll guarantee that you don’t use this word enough. You want to please everyone you love- especially your family and you want to keep conflict to a minimum. So you do what nice people do- you withhold that nasty two letter word. The problem is, you could be making your life and the lives of those you love, miserable.
A woman or man who feels is in charge of his/her life and decisions lives with freedom. Right after Jesus gave the Sermon on the Mount, he addressed his listeners about the way they spoke. In Matthew’s gospel He says, Let your Yes be Yes and your No, no. Make up your mind, stick to your beliefs, be clear and don’t make excuses. No waffling, no second-guessing at everything, just do what is good and right.
Henry Cloud, author of Boundaries says very simply that people who understand boundaries know what they are and are not responsible to do and they do it. Or they don’t.
We fail to say no because we don’t want to hurt others’ feelings, but the truth is, we end up hurting others’ feelings more when we become resentful and angry. And what are we teaching our kids? Studies show that 40% of all girls 14-18 have sex they don’t want to have with their boyfriends because they “don’t want to hurt their feelings by saying no!”
This week, figure out where and when you need to say NO. Then say it. Don’t want to add another evening obligation to your schedule? Say No. Don’t want your kids to live on the Crazy Train running to too many extracurricular activities? Say No. They need to pick one or two. You decide.
Then wait a month or two. I guarantee, everyone in your home- especially you- will feel like a new person.
