As a pediatrician for 25 years, I have gotten a peek behind your kid’s eyes. When you walk into a room your son changes immediately, he relaxes because you are there and life is safe again. If you have recently scolded him, he scours your face to see if you are still mad, because he needs to know how you feel. You matter. Your mood changes his world a bit. If you are in a good mood, he can relax and play with his trucks. If you are upset with him he wants to make up (he may not show it, but he does) because you are the center of his world. He needs you to like him again. You, and no one else, because once you are happy with him, he can go about his business and life will feel good again. He can focus on school, get his home work done and pay attention during his basketball game. This is the power you have and that power comes from the fact that in this one child’s life- your child’s life- who you are matters as much as life itself.
Another thing that I have learned about you as I have watched over the years is that you need to feel good about the job that you are doing as a mother. If you are like most American moms, you are far too critical of the job you’re doing. You want to get it right and you access your performance daily. Kids don’t care if you’re thin or plump, they don’t care if you make brownies from scratch, from a box or if you buy them. They just want to eat the brownies with you. Understanding our value and then feeling good about the mother that we are is one of the toughest challenges we face.
