Kids approach eating very differently than we do. For most boys and girls under nine to ten years old, eating is simply not a priority. It is just something they know they must do. But for us parents, what, when, and how our kids eat is an emotionally loaded issue. We mothers and fathers want our kids to eat well so that they grow the way they should. Because when our kids grow well, we feel like successful parents.

In twenty-five years of practicing pediatrics, I can say that some of the most stressed parents I encounter are those whose kids can’t gain weight. Whether it’s anorexia, chronic diarrhea, bowel disease, etc., when a child fails to gain weight, parents feel like failures.

We need to understand that food issues in children under age nine to ten bother us, not kids. When we become anxious about their eating, they pick up on it and learn very quickly to use eating habits to get what they want from us. They hear us say, “Eat your peas and I’ll buy you a toy” or “One more bite, and then you can go outside and play.” When they hear things like that, why wouldn’t…