The expectations that come with Mother’s Day can easily sabotage our ability to truly enjoy it. I hope that my adult children will write me long letters telling me how happy they are with me and what an amazing job I did raising them. When they were young, I hoped that my husband would prompt the kids to let me know how special I was to them. In reality, sometimes he even forgot it was Mother’s Day. So when flowers didn’t come or beautifully handwritten notes or pictures made didn’t appear, I did what most mothers do: I felt like a failure.

Of course, your family’s lack of participation in special Mother’s Day events is in no way a reflection of how good of a mother you are. These expectations can take the joy out of what can be a wonderful day, whether you receive long handwritten letters or not.

This Mother’s Day, instead of focusing on what your family can do for you, focus on what you can do for you.

One of the best things you can do for yourself as a mom is to learn to set boundaries. We’ve all been through a tough few months, especially…