Dear Leticia,

Your 12-year-old daughter struggles with jealousy, and you need to help her break this. Jealousy is a corrosive feeling and harms those who feel it. Some children are more prone to feeling jealous than others, depending upon their personalities, and others may have legitimate feelings that stem from lack of attention from one or both parents- especially if parents clearly favor one child over them.

Here’s what I encourage you to do.

Ask yourself why you think your older daughter feels jealous.

Do you or your husband favor your younger child- even a little? If so, then work on feeling kinder and more forgiving of your daughter. This doesn’t sound like the situation with you and your husband, but sometimes children pick up vibes from parents that are subconscious.

Second, sometime when you are alone with your daughter and she is in a good mood, ask her some simple pointed questions like,

“Honey, I have noticed that you sometimes struggle with jealousy. I’ve had those same feelings and they made me feel terrible. Is feeling jealous hard for you? Why do you suppose you have those feelings?”

Don’t answer for her, teach, or reprimand her. Just let her talk…