Parenting critics love to hammer mothers (and fathers) about why we give our kids so much. Boys have too any video games and electronic gadgets and girls have far too many clothes. Modern-day teens and college students travel the globe the way we used to travel to Florida on spring break. Mothers harp about other mothers who spoil their kids by indulging them with cell phones, cars, and sometimes exotic vacations, and the funniest part is that those who criticize others are succumbing to the same indulgences as all the rest.

The truth is, most American kids are spoiled, and I fully understand why. I’ve done the same, because when it comes to giving to our kids, what mother isn’t going to struggle with how much and how soon to give? Giving things to our kids is complicated. We give because we love them, and we want them to feel good. We give because that’s what mothers know how to do. We give until it hurts, and then we give some more. Then experts come along and criticize us for doing what feels quite natural.

The tricky part in being a mother is that giving is good and it is natural,