Every day I talk to frustrated parents.  Most wonder what they can do to make their kids do what they want them to. From potty-training, to not talking back, to scoring better grades or getting into the right college, most parents agonize over their ability (or lack thereof) to influence their kids’ behaviors.

The million dollar question is: can we influence our kids in a meaningful, positive way? The answer is, yes. We- our personalities, humor, affection and speech- carry the greatest energy force when it comes to shaping the adults that our children become. As grown children, we understand this. We still hear our Dad’s tone of voice when he got angry when we were little or our mother’s comfort when we failed a test.

Our parents shaped our emotional constitution more potently than anyone else in our world when we were young.

But there’s another question which haunts us parents. Even when we know that we have the power to shape the character of our children, we still want to figure out how to change their behaviors. Like potty training or getting better grades. Can we make our kids stop wetting their pants? Can we persuade our kids to…