An important part of adolescence is separating from one’s parents, in a process called emancipation. Teens usually embark upon this around puberty, beginning with baby steps (driving, getting a job, developing their own opinions) and ending with the giant leap into college or on to other adult endeavors.

Although teens want to separate from you, the process itself is frightening for them. That’s why you often see your teenager taking one step forward and two steps back. Your 15-year-old daughter might be into giggling about boys and trying new makeup, while at the same time she sleeps with her stuffed animal from childhood and still wants a goodnight kiss from you.

During this process, teenagers start redefining their emotional relationship with you, moving from that of parent and child to that of parent and adult. At the same time, they’re separating from you physically. Suddenly, it seems they’re never home. They may refuse to go on family vacations, or even to go out to dinner as a family. They walk apart from you when you’re in public places, and head straight to their room when they get home. Some get after-school jobs that keep them out of the house, or start…