Find out your parenting style with my parent personality quiz!

Find out your parenting style with my parent personality quiz!

COURSE LOGIN

The Difference Between Moms and Dads

Picture of Dr. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker

Many of you know the topic of fathers is one I hold very close to my own heart. I love writing to fathers and hearing from them as they grow throughout their parenthood journey. Now to be clear, my dedication to championing fatherhood does not discredit the amazing role of moms out there – you do so much for your children, and they wouldn’t be the same without you. But there are distinct differences between how kids see, engage with and view their relationships with mom and dad.

I wanted to share a few excerpts from my new book, Hero: Being The Strong Father Your Children Need, which released May 15 last year, on the subject of moms and dads, how they are uniquely different, and how they are better together.

Kids See Mom and Dad Differently

Children respect their mothers, but they typically see Dad as the authority figure – and dads, that’s a heavy responsibility. Children will confide in their mothers, but they speak more carefully to their fathers, and the tone is usually more reserved.

There are many reasons for this – and some of them are purely physical: To a child, Dad is often big and imposing and has a deep voice. Many young children see Mom as a permanent fixture in their lives. They believe that their mothers have to love them and stay with them. That’s why many children can be so cruel to their mothers because they assume Mom will never leave; a mother’s love is non-negotiable.

Children tend to behave better when Dad’s at home. #HeroDadBook

But many children don’t feel that way about Dad; they feel they have to earn their father’s love. So they try harder to behave around Dad. They don’t want to get on his bad side and risk losing him. As a father, you might be totally committed; you might have a cheerful, generous, welcoming personality. But your children will still think they need to earn your respect and love. And that’s a good thing because when children respect their fathers, it makes for healthier home life. Children tend to behave better when Dad’s at home—respecting his authority and wanting to keep in his good graces.

Kids Need Dads

Many men feel they have failed as fathers and carry no authority. How could they, they assume, when they drank too much, or couldn’t keep a steady job, or were divorced by their wives? In fact, many mothers divorce their flawed husbands because they think he is setting a bad example for the children. But unless those dads have been physically or emotionally abusive, children still want their fathers in their lives – even if their fathers are ne’er-do-wells.

Kids need dads. #HeroDadBook

Kids need dads. That’s all kids, but we know especially that children from low-income families do better – behaviorally, academically, every way – when Dad’s around. The key factor is not how much money Dad makes, or whether he drinks or has a temper, but how present and involved he is with his family.

Kids Aren’t Thinking About You

Kids and teens alike are fundamentally egocentric. They don’t care if their parents are stuck in an unhappy marriage. They don’t think of their parents as husband and wife, but as Mom and Dad. Mom and Dad might be “happier” after a divorce (though that’s often not the case) but their children aren’t; they usually feel that the bottom has dropped from their worlds. They are confused, angry, and anxious. Many of them grieve as if one of their parents had died.

Mom and Dad might be “happier” after a divorce, but their children aren’t. #HeroDadBook

In 99% of the cases that I have seen, there is no question that children are happier with two unhappy married parents than they are with a family divided by divorce. Children want to be and rightfully are focused on their own happiness, not that of their parents. When they worry about Mom and Dad, they take on more pressure than they can stand.

Writing Hero: Being The Strong Father Your Children Need has been a real labor of love for me. I believe there’s never been a time when the message of the importance of fathers has been more crucial. You can learn more about Hero and pre-order your copy at HeroDadBook.com.

Our Sponsors

Skylight-Meeker

Skylight Digital Picture Frames are the perfect bridge connecting you to the special moments of those you love! It’s private, pre-loadable, and you can personalize it! Visit SkylightFrame.com

As a practicing pediatrician and mother I recommend Phyla because it works wonders without any side effects and is backed by dermatologists.

Visit phylabiotics.com, enter code DRMEEKER at checkout, and start your journey to healthier skin.

Here’s the perfect gift to inspire and delight that young person in your life!

Sign up at Crunchlabs.com/DRMEG and get 2 boxes free!

That’s why you’ve got to check out AquaTru.

AquaTru purifiers use a 4-stage reverse osmosis purification process, and their countertop purifiers work with NO installation or plumbing.

Transform Your Tap Water

Air Doctor

Air Doctor, purification to protect your home! Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code DRMEG and you’ll receive UP TO $300 off air purifiers!

Cozy Earth
Our goal is to help you create a sanctuary within your home, a refuge from the demands of the outside world.

Head over to cozyearth.com and use promo code DRMEG for an exclusive 35% off.

Acorns makes it easy to start automatically saving and investing for your future. Head to acorns.com/ or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future today!

Your pet can’t choose healthy, but you can! Choose Whole Life Pet for human grade, freeze-dried, nutrient-rich, all natural food and treats for your dog or cat!

Visit wholelifepet.com

Born Shoes

Step into comfort by visiting BornShoes.com and take advantage of our exclusive offer. Use promo code DRMEG to enjoy a 15% discount and receive free ground shipping on all full-price shoes.

Green-chef-Meeker
The #1 Meal Kit for Eating well. Go to greenchef.com/60drmeg and use code 60drmeg to get 60% off plus 20% off your next two months.  greenchef.com to start now! 
Masimo-stork-baby-monitor

Masimo Stork is a revolutionary new baby monitor. SET technology has been in use for 25 years in the NICU units of America’s hospitals – now that same technology is available at home. Masimo Stork tracks real time, with your baby’s pulse rate, oxygen saturation, and skin temperature. While not a medical device, it can ensure more confident and calmer parenting. To learn more, go to masimostork.com.

Sponsors

Skylight-Meeker

Skylight Digital Picture Frames are the perfect bridge connecting you to the special moments of those you love! It’s private, pre-loadable, and you can personalize it! Visit SkylightFrame.com

Crunch-Labs-Meeker

Here’s the perfect gift to inspire and delight that young person in your life! The CrunchLabs build box subscription. Crunchlabs packs the fun into science by sending kids a new toy to build each month. And everyone’s favorite youtuber Mark Rober’s teaches them how! Kids LOVE IT! Go to Crunchlabs.com/DrMeg and get yours today!

Powerful purification to protect your home

Lock this special offer by going to A-I-R-D-O-C-T-O-R-P-R-O dot com and use promo code DRMEG.

Discover luxury she deserves!

Head over to cozyearth.com and use promo code DRMEG for an exclusive 35% off.

Save, invest and learn from one easy app.

Visit acorns.com

Your pet can’t choose healthy, but you can! Choose Whole Life Pet for human grade, freeze-dried, nutrient-rich, all natural food and treats for your dog or cat!

Visit wholelifepet.com

Step into comfort by visiting BornShoes.com and take advantage of our exclusive offer. Use promo code DRMEG to enjoy a 15% discount and receive free ground shipping on all full-price shoes.

Green-chef-Meeker
The #1 Meal Kit for Eating well. Go to greenchef.com/60drmeg and use code 60drmeg to get 60% off plus 20% off your next two months.  greenchef.com to start now! 
Masimo-stork-baby-monitor

Masimo Stork is a revolutionary new baby monitor. SET technology has been in use for 25 years in the NICU units of America’s hospitals – now that same technology is available at home. Masimo Stork tracks real time, with your baby’s pulse rate, oxygen saturation, and skin temperature. While not a medical device, it can ensure more confident and calmer parenting. To learn more, go to masimostork.com.

More Posts

Sponsors

Skylight Digital Picture Frames are the perfect bridge connecting you to the special moments of those you love!

Here’s the perfect gift to inspire and delight that young person in your life! The CrunchLabs build box subscription.

Your pet can’t choose healthy, but you can! Choose Whole Life Pet for human grade, freeze-dried, nutrient-rich, all natural food and treats for your dog or cat!

Masimo Stork is a revolutionary new baby monitor. SET technology has been in use for 25 years in the NICU units of America’s hospitals.

The #1 Meal Kit for Eating well. Go to greenchef.com/60drmeg and use code 60drmeg to get 60% off plus 20% off your next two months.  

Thrive Market – the customized and economical way to shop organic, non-gmo, and healthy.

Website-Dr. Meeker (8)
Feeling a a bit uneasy about having "the talk" with your son or daughter?
Dr. Meeker is here to help! “How to Talk to Your Kids about Puberty & Sex (ages 8-18)” is her most comprehensive course ever and she’ll equip you to have that conversation with knowledge, confidence and sensitivity. Check it out!

More Tools to Simplify Fatherhood