Your 4-year-old son tells you that he wants to wear dresses to preschool; should you let him? The New York Times recently weighed in on the issue with the article, “What’s So Bad About a Boy Who Wants to Wear a Dress?” Many parents have had their sons paint their fingernails, pick out pink shirts, or ask for My Little Ponies for Christmas. When this happens, many parents act calm and pretend not to worry that something deeper is brewing beneath the surface. But don’t be fooled, having a son want to act feminine pushes many parents’ buttons. It prompts us to question our son’s sexuality, our own sexuality, our parenting skills, and our social and political views. When it comes to our son wanting to act like a girl, internal fireworks fly.

So when discussing gender identity issues, we need to tread very, very carefully. As hard as it is to separate social and political views from parenting issues, we must. Unfortunately, sexual orientation has become more of a political issue than a personal one, and when that happens, everyone loses. I fear the same is happening with gender identity issues in boys. Opinions are shaped more by political agenda…