Find out your parenting style with my parent personality quiz!

Find out your parenting style with my parent personality quiz!

COURSE LOGIN

Ask Dr. Meg: How Can I Boost My Teenage Daughter’s Self-Esteem?

Dr. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker

Dear Dr. Meg,

How important can sports and activities be to a teenage girl’s self-esteem building? How can we help her if she doesn’t make teams? And how can we boost her self-esteem, in general?

Sincerely,

Concerned Mother

Dear Concerned Mother,

The best way to help raise a girl’s self-esteem (at any age) is by having her father give her affection. How easy is that?

The best way to help raise a girl’s self-esteem is by having her father give her affection.

When a Dad hugs his daughter, she gets the extremely important message that he sees her and he likes what he sees. Her father’s feelings about her are far more important than her performance on any soccer field. Fathers have the potential to have the greatest impact on their daughters’ lives. Simply by being with them and paying attention to them, they can ensure their daughter will grow up to be a strong woman with great self-esteem. (There is so much research to back this up, I wrote an entire book on the topic.)

Beyond this, there are many other things that parents can do to boost self-esteem.

Fathers have the potential to have the greatest impact on their daughters’ lives.

First, pick out a character quality that your daughter has and applaud her for it. Is she patient, courageous or kind? Does she persevere during tough times? You get the idea. Focus on her character, not performance. It does hurt when girls fail to make teams or don’t get roles in the school play. But more important than the failure or acceptance is how you deal with either.

I have seen stellar athletes whose parents ogle over their successes but who feel that they need to keep performing to get their parents’ attention. So, when she fails to make a team, tell her that you’re sorry and move on. Don’t focus too much on sports in your home—focus on more important things like character, humility, how she gets along with her siblings, and faith.

That said, help her find what she’s gifted in and then try to find opportunities to help her use those gifts. Sometimes gifts are in music, the arts, or other sports, but sometimes they are outside of those things. Does she have a passion for animals, community service or children? Once you help her identify what she is passionate about and makes her come alive, then help her get involved and her-self esteem will improve.

A girl’s self-esteem comes mostly from how her parents see her as a person, not as a performer.

But always remember, a teenage girl’s self-esteem comes mostly from how her parents see her as a person, not as a performer in one area or another. The thing a teenage girl needs most is affection from her parents, especially her father, and an assurance that they love her and think she is great no matter what.

Sponsors

Skylight-Meeker

Skylight Digital Picture Frames are the perfect bridge connecting you to the special moments of those you love! It’s private, pre-loadable, and you can personalize it! Visit SkylightFrame.com

Crunch-Labs-Meeker

Here’s the perfect gift to inspire and delight that young person in your life! The CrunchLabs build box subscription. Crunchlabs packs the fun into science by sending kids a new toy to build each month. And everyone’s favorite youtuber Mark Rober’s teaches them how! Kids LOVE IT! Go to Crunchlabs.com/DrMeg and get yours today!

Your pet can’t choose healthy, but you can! Choose Whole Life Pet for human grade, freeze-dried, nutrient-rich, all natural food and treats for your dog or cat!

Visit wholelifepet.com

Thrive-Market-Meeker

Thrive Market – the customized and economical way to shop organic, non-gmo, and healthy – for you and your family.
Visit thrivemarket.com/drmeg

Green-chef-Meeker
The #1 Meal Kit for Eating well. Go to greenchef.com/60drmeg and use code 60drmeg to get 60% off plus 20% off your next two months.  greenchef.com to start now! 
Masimo-stork-baby-monitor

Masimo Stork is a revolutionary new baby monitor. SET technology has been in use for 25 years in the NICU units of America’s hospitals – now that same technology is available at home. Masimo Stork tracks real time, with your baby’s pulse rate, oxygen saturation, and skin temperature. While not a medical device, it can ensure more confident and calmer parenting. To learn more, go to masimostork.com.

More Posts

Sponsors

Skylight Digital Picture Frames are the perfect bridge connecting you to the special moments of those you love!

Here’s the perfect gift to inspire and delight that young person in your life! The CrunchLabs build box subscription.

Your pet can’t choose healthy, but you can! Choose Whole Life Pet for human grade, freeze-dried, nutrient-rich, all natural food and treats for your dog or cat!

The #1 Meal Kit for Eating well. Go to greenchef.com/60drmeg and use code 60drmeg to get 60% off plus 20% off your next two months.  

Website-Dr. Meeker (8)
Feeling a a bit uneasy about having "the talk" with your son or daughter?
Dr. Meeker is here to help! “How to Talk to Your Kids about Puberty & Sex (ages 8-18)” is her most comprehensive course ever and she’ll equip you to have that conversation with knowledge, confidence and sensitivity. Check it out!

More Tools to Simplify Fatherhood