Perseverance

One of the toughest aspects of being a hero to your daughter is not just deciding what is good and right for her, but also keeping her on track. Fathers can demand tremendous discipline from themselves, but they can find it much harder to stand firm with their children. Fathers get tired. Daughters can become defiant, manipulative, and wear their fathers down. This is where perseverance comes in.

I have seen this operate in my own home. My husband and I work together. With patients he is clear, decisive, and expects that his advice will be followed. Then he comes home. When our seventeen-year-old daughter insists on going to a beach party with friends until one in the morning, he listens attentively. It’s ten o’clock at night and we’re both exhausted. She -isn’t, so she looks at her dad and offers, “Pleeease, Dad.” Then something peculiar happens. Rational convictions leap from his brain. This man who only hours before was clear and firm about what was best for his patients goes to complete mush. “Oh, honey, I guess if you promise to be home by one, you can go.”

“Are you crazy?” I blurt out. “Seventeen-year-old guys and

seventeen-year-old girls…