Dear Dr. Meg,

I have a 16-year-old child who was born a girl but is convinced that she identifies more as a boy. I am wondering lately if this is caused by a lack of understanding her self-identity?

Also, I’ve read that transgender feelings can begin as young as four years old, so what age or stage does a person typically begin to develop self-identity? When, how, or do parents even play a role in teaching their children self-identity?

I am a believer in Jesus Christ and have walked with my Lord for 30-plus years. I have done my best to train my children in the way they should go. Regardless of the opinions of Christians out there, this is my reality.

I am in a very difficult position where I need to love my child right where she is, careful not to crush her spirit and yet provide a loving direction at the same time. It is not easy! Calling my daughter a he and “Jack” instead of Joy every day is not an easy task. There are many days I want to pull my hair out! Lots of prayers is how I get through, I guess.

Thank you for…