Dr. Meg,

My son is super smart and I am exploring the idea of emotional intensity in him. He can be anxious, is empathetic to his core, and has some issues with anger, which is my main concern. He has started saying “hate”, “kill”, he wants out of our family, he wants to go to heaven when he is mad. He is getting items from his room to “fight” me and is doing damage to his room. I know setting events include hunger and lack of sleep and we have a pretty set schedule to avoid these things. I also have to be on top of hydration and bowel movements (he gets constipated) or these affect his eating. Frankly, it’s all very exhausting, as I have to be on top of everything all the time.

He is seven so we are working on moving all this responsibility over to him (slowly). I know I am a trigger to him; how I interact with him. We have spent a lot of time providing him replacements to get the anger out in an appropriate way. For example, he can squeeze his fist down at his side but he can’t threaten me with a…