Dr. Meg,

I have a 3 (will be 4 in a few weeks)

She’s acting out at school when she doesn’t get her way. She has slammed a kid’s head into a bookshelf, is cussing at and hitting her teachers she pushed over a bookshelf today on top of a kid. Recently we have moved in with my boyfriend, not their father. We’ve been here for two months and I’ve had to leave work 3 different times because of her behavior. She doesn’t act like this at home, she doesn’t have a listening problem or following directions but I just don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t keep leaving my new job and I can’t have her kicked out of daycare. She’s never acted like this before. She’s always had an attitude problem. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Dear Mom-

Your daughter’s behavior at school is not normal. She is screaming for help. You know this and that’s why you wrote. The level of her anger tells me that she is hurts terribly inside and doesn’t know what to do with intense feelings. When young children hurt, they show it by acting very mean toward themselves and other children.