Find out your parenting style with my parent personality quiz!

Find out your parenting style with my parent personality quiz!


Ask Dr. Meg: I’m Being Bullied By My Ex And Our Son

Dr. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg,

I trust you can give me advice. I have a 9-year-old son – his father and I divorced in 2010. His father was diagnosed as a Narcissist and does not have nice things to say about me when he has our son alternate weekends and holidays (my son tells me everything). The problem I’m having is that my son treats me with disrespect and speaks to me like a disrespectful adult would talk to another adult. It angers me so much and is one of the main reasons I yell at my son. I don’t know how to deal with this situation. A few months ago, my ex tried to punch me in front of our son, which shocked both my son and myself, and it also fuels my belief that he has nothing positive to say about me while our son is with him. I don’t want to stop him from seeing his dad, as children need both parents in their lives. I have no doubt that my ex loves our son dearly. Please help me. Some days I want to sit in a heap and cry my eyes out from frustration and sadness. I’m not that young anymore so my patience is not as it used to be and menopause is also part of my life now – I’m 54.

Thank you for your help.


At A Loss

Dear At A Loss,

Regardless of the label your ex-husband was given, he is a bully.

Here’s the problem: you can’t change his behavior but you can change your response to it. Bullies get away with being mean until someone says stop it. You have, apparently, said “stop it” through your divorce. The problem for you now is, that he is teaching your son how to be a bully too – and you are the target. This isn’t your son’s fault. He is being trained to bully. Again, you can’t change what your ex says or does with your son (unless you go to court and get a good lawyer) but you can change how you respond to your son when he is with you.

Here are a few suggestions:

Recognize why you allow yourself to be bullied (even by your 9-year-old.) Many women allow husbands to mistreat them because they can’t love or care for themselves. The fact that your husband mistreated you tells me that you will allow your son to do the same. He has a good teacher in his father and if you don’t refuse to let him bully you, it will only get worse.

When your son does disrespectful things to you, you must NOT yell, but refuse to allow him to continue. This means, clearly stating the rules in your home by saying: when you are at Dad’s, you will hear him say mean things, but in my house, you can not say mean things to me or about me. If you do, then you will no longer __________ and give firm, tough consequences (no video games, no friends, whatever motivates him to stop.)

Realize that you lose all your power and influence when you yell. Whatever you need to do to stop yelling at your son, do it. If you need time out in the middle of a conversation, take it.

Find a good counselor or doctor who can help you help yourself. Menopause can be a beast for some women so you need a good physician to help you. Also, that physician may point you to a good counselor who can help you find the internal strength to refuse to be bullied by your ex and your son. If you don’t, your relationship with your son will get worse.

I know that it feels now as though there is nothing that you can do to help yourself out of this situation. That is not true. There is good help but you need to be willing to care enough for yourself to get it. Please do.



Skylight Digital Picture Frames are the perfect bridge connecting you to the special moments of those you love! It’s private, pre-loadable, and you can personalize it! Visit


Here’s the perfect gift to inspire and delight that young person in your life! The CrunchLabs build box subscription. Crunchlabs packs the fun into science by sending kids a new toy to build each month. And everyone’s favorite youtuber Mark Rober’s teaches them how! Kids LOVE IT! Go to and get yours today!

Your pet can’t choose healthy, but you can! Choose Whole Life Pet for human grade, freeze-dried, nutrient-rich, all natural food and treats for your dog or cat!



Thrive Market – the customized and economical way to shop organic, non-gmo, and healthy – for you and your family.

The #1 Meal Kit for Eating well. Go to and use code 60drmeg to get 60% off plus 20% off your next two months. to start now! 

Masimo Stork is a revolutionary new baby monitor. SET technology has been in use for 25 years in the NICU units of America’s hospitals – now that same technology is available at home. Masimo Stork tracks real time, with your baby’s pulse rate, oxygen saturation, and skin temperature. While not a medical device, it can ensure more confident and calmer parenting. To learn more, go to

Website-Dr. Meeker (8)
Feeling a a bit uneasy about having "the talk" with your son or daughter?
Dr. Meeker is here to help! “How to Talk to Your Kids about Puberty & Sex (ages 8-18)” is her most comprehensive course ever and she’ll equip you to have that conversation with knowledge, confidence and sensitivity. Check it out!

More Tools to Simplify Fatherhood