Dear Andy,

You have learned a terribly painful lesson. Being unfaithful to your wife led you down a path that I’m sure you never anticipated. Most spouses who do this find out the exact same thing. I’m so glad to hear that you are working hard to make reparations in your life and for your family.

Regarding your children resenting you, yes, they likely will. They will be angry at you for being selfish, for hurting their mother and for hurting them. But the damage is done and now you must work hard to allow them to feel their anger, hurt and disappointment.

Simply because you regret your decisions doesn’t make their feelings disappear. Their feelings are something you can’t control. However, you can help them heal those feelings. Here are a few ways to do that.

First, be sincere and contrite.

Sit down with each of them, one at a time, and tell them that you really messed up. Tell them that your decisions were wrong and that you ask their forgiveness for the hurt you brought on them.

Then, ask them to forgive you for the hurt you put on their mom.

At first, they may refuse to talk…