Dear Dr. Meg,

I’m struggling with my 4-year-old daughter (she’s my middle child; older brother, younger sister). She is always whining, won’t accept no. Throwing tantrums. And she now gets really sad and shy when she is in Sabbath School or the one day a week kindergarten we attend. She won’t take an item the teacher gives her if it’s not the one she wants. I’m an authoritative parenting style and don’t give in to her and have even taken her out of her class at times but it’s all wearing me down.

I appreciate any help!

– At Wit’s End

Dear At Wit’s End,

This little girl has got your number. She is actively manipulating you in order to get what she wants. You said that she gets shy in Sabbath School which means, I think, that she isn’t throwing temper tantrums at school. That means, she’s only doing it in front of you in order to get what she wants. She needs to learn that whining, temper tantrums, etc, aren’t working so you need to get tough. Here’s what I recommend.

First, when she whines or throws a fit, remove her from the room. I know this is hard…