Find out your parenting style with my parent personality quiz!

Find out your parenting style with my parent personality quiz!

COURSE LOGIN

Ask Dr. Meg: How Do I Know if I am Spoiling My Daughter?

Dr. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker

Hi. I am the mom of a beautiful 13 month girl. My question is how do I know if I am spoiling my daughter? I know she is only a year old, but I feel that sometimes I am too nice or allowing. she is very attached to me, but also is sometimes hard to feed because she decides that she doesn’t want to eat, for example. Another thing is she often screams when I try to change her diaper and rolls over and refuses to lay still. How do I raise her not to feel like she can just throw a tantrum to get mom to do what she wants?  Thank you.

Dear Great mother-

At 13 months, it’s hard to spoil a child. Your daughter’s behavior seems completely appropriate for her age. Most 13 month old children have times when they don’t want to eat, sit quietly and many make diaper changing very hard!

That said, you might well have a strong-willed child blossoming. I love strong-willed children because they are the ones who grow up to change the world. The challenge for you is going to be with discipline as she gets older. When she is around 18 months- 2 years old, she may start having temper tantrums or exert her independence in other ways. You sound like a very kind mother. But, as your daughter grows into these harder toddler times, you must let her know that in no uncertain terms that you are the boss. She will try to get her way all of the time.

When it comes to allowing her to do things that will harm her, you must make her obey. So, as she grows, you must have a few rules that are non-negotiable. When she breaks those rules after you have told her no, then consequences must follow. I use time-outs for youngsters where they sit in a chair in the corner of the room or in another room for several minutes. The trick is to discipline her for deliberate acts of defiance as she grows- not normal toddler behavior like she’s doing now. In other words, discipline her when she does something like run out into the driveway after you have told her not to or when she says something mean to you that you have told her not to do.

I think that you’re in good shape now, but as I said, you might have your hands full in a few more months.

Sponsors

Skylight Digital Picture Frames are the perfect bridge connecting you to the special moments of those you love! It’s private, pre-loadable, and you can personalize it! Visit SkylightFrame.com

Crunch-Labs-Meeker

Here’s the perfect gift to inspire and delight that young person in your life! The CrunchLabs build box subscription. Crunchlabs packs the fun into science by sending kids a new toy to build each month. And everyone’s favorite youtuber Mark Rober’s teaches them how! Kids LOVE IT! Go to Crunchlabs.com/DrMeg and get yours today!

Masimo-stork-baby-monitor

Masimo Stork is a revolutionary new baby monitor. SET technology has been in use for 25 years in the NICU units of America’s hospitals – now that same technology is available at home. Masimo Stork tracks real time, with your baby’s pulse rate, oxygen saturation, and skin temperature. While not a medical device, it can ensure more confident and calmer parenting. To learn more, go to masimostork.com.

Website-Dr. Meeker (8)
Feeling a a bit uneasy about having "the talk" with your son or daughter?
Dr. Meeker is here to help! “How to Talk to Your Kids about Puberty & Sex (ages 8-18)” is her most comprehensive course ever and she’ll equip you to have that conversation with knowledge, confidence and sensitivity. Check it out!

More Tools to Simplify Fatherhood