Dear Dr. Meg,

I am very concerned about the issues concerning our young adult children. Our son graduated from college two years ago. He is working full time and living with us but doesn’t pay rent.

His room and bathroom are a disgusting mess at all times. I ask him to keep those areas to my standards. He ignores this and is disrespectful in his speech to me. My daughter is often rude and disrespectful as well.

I feel they are far too old to behave this way, but the truth is I have no backup from my husband. I am at my wit’s end, ready to kick them out – but again, no backup!

Aren’t we just allowing them to remain immature?

Sincerely,

Wit’s End Mom

Dear Wit’s End Mom,

You are absolutely right. By allowing your son (and daughter) to be rude, not pay rent and trash the room he occupies in your home, you are teaching him that being rude to others isn’t harmful to them or him in any way, that he isn’t a man yet because you and his father expect him to act like a child and that he can’t really be responsible for his…