Dear Dr. Meg,

My daughter is 19 and a freshman in college. She was raised in our home, and she participated in the church youth group, among other faith-related activities. She’s a beautiful, intelligent young woman who never really dated in high school, not for lack of offers, but because she didn’t feel the right guys were interested. She was pretty much a homebody. Now that she’s at college, she has started seeing another freshman in her dorm. They are in the same program and seem to spend all of their time together. My daughter tells her friends that the boy is “bipolar” and that explains why he is sometimes not very nice to her. Also, when they are at home on breaks from school, he stops texting her. His hometown is about two hours away from where we live. The young man will not meet me or my husband, even though we have asked our daughter repeatedly and have offered for him to come visit and even take a short vacation with us. I think it’s very likely that they are having sex, although she has told me they aren’t. My husband and I are at a loss as to…