In my book Boys will be Boys, you will learn how to raise healthy and happy boys-boys who are honest, courageous, humble, meek (in the sense of willingly withholding their power), and kind. There are secrets to raising such boys. Among these secrets are the big seven. They’ll appear here over the next few days. Secret number one is:
1st Secret: Know how to encourage your son. One fault is babying and spoiling him, but another is being so harsh that you lose communication with your son and destroy his sense of self-worth. We’ll look at how to strike the right balance.
He doesn’t want you to buy him stuff, haul him to hockey games, or work longer hours to buy a nicer home (though he might try to convince you of all these things). He needs to see you smile when you are proud, see you work through your problems, and how you deal with tension and frustration. And most importantly, he needs to know that you will be there when he needs you. Once he knows this, the center of his world will feel tight and secure. Give him that security and he will feel free to work hard at school, pay attention during his piano lessons, and enjoy all the good things that can be a part of boyhood.