When we see delight around us, we are reminded of what we don’t have. I ache for my mother and father at Christmas. Christmas day was my father’s favorite day of the year, and he spent months thinking of unique gifts for each of us. My mother decorated every nook and cranny of our home. I see the look on their faces when we came down Christmas morning. I see my nephew sitting on my dad’s lap.

We ache for what we have no more, and we mourn what we never had—these are the roots of sadness at Christmas.

If you find yourself feeling more sad than jolly right now, know you are not alone. And also know that you have hope. When the grief hits you and you’re not sure what to do, choose one of three options: slow down, look up, or look out.

Slow Down

Don’t try to tackle it all this holiday. You can’t. Your body is tired from the emotional toll of grief. Cut back on the holiday activities and parties and make sure each day you do something that recharges you. Go on a walk, talk to a friend, get coffee at your favorite coffee…