Question: How does one DO love without enabling them or ignoring them? I’ve not been able to get to a middle road with knowing how and when and what it looks like.

I tell our son I love him. I’ve explained to him why I do the things I do for him (wash laundry, buy certain food, share a movie) but unless I’m doing and accepting what he wants (horrific movies or music, language, smoking) I am not “loving” him he thinks.

When he gets out of jail how do I go about this love thing and how does it work? I’ve always been lost here. I pray for him and I tell him I do. I quote scriptures. I tell him stories about myself or my dad or when he was little. I’m trying but don’t think it’s enough. Also being 20 years old how do boundries really work? Books don’t seem to go far enough for me to quite nail it down.

Thanks, I realize you probably are very busy, but if you could point me to something that has some “bottomline” info.

Dear Sheila-

When it comes to loving your son well, there are a few things that…