A gentlemen recently wrote me to ask my thoughts on messy divorces and how parents can maintain respectability while going through the process. I told him I would respond via my blog:

I have had the unpleasant duty of testifying in court on behalf of both mothers and fathers when a divorce has occurred. I am frustrated for parents on several accounts. First, in my state, most fathers get a really bum deal. I have seen good dads get very little time with their kids because the mother is mad as a hornet, thinks he’s a creep and wants to get back at him. In situations like this, in my experience, it’s fairly easy to sway the judge or friend of the court that dad shouldn’t be in the kids’ lives. There are some pretty unfair and angry judges out there. When children get cut off from a good dad, it breaks my heart. Sure, mom may think he’s a creep, but remember, children can never divorce their parents. So, regardless of what you think of your ex- the kids are emotionally tied to him or her. And you, as the custodial parent owe it to your children to help them…