Dear Dr. Meg,

I struggle with fact that my brother met a young lady with two kids, they married when the kids were 13 & 17, his wife & stepdaughter suggest daily that he is the biological father, confusing mutual friends, which turns to people calling and in boxing me on, how they missed these two kids. Also my mother finds it offensive. I am often talking her down to address her frustration, but it is confusing, misleading and hurtful as if they are re-writing history. I am wrong to be upset? Is there anything I would do or say, with out looking petty.

-Frustrated Sister

Dear Frustrated Sister-

There is absolutely nothing petty about your concerns! Telling children that a man is their biologic father when he isn’t is deceitful, confusing and very painful to children. Besides these, it’s wrong.

Teenagers in particular are very vulnerable. The teen years are a time when children are moving from childhood into adulthood and a large part of this transition involves discovering their own identities. They need to know who they are becoming, what they must leave behind and how to find their own voices, thoughts, beliefs and decisions. To cause a teen…