Dear Dr. Meg,

How do you talk to a child, in this case my 6-year-old nephew, about how it is not OK for an adult to hurt you?

I’ve seen his mom be rough with him out of frustration and anger, and though I’m not in a position to confront her, I want him to know he can tell me if she really hurts him.

And, I just saw a video of a teacher who roughed up a 6yo in a hallway at school. I want him to know he can tell me anything, and that it is NOT OK for an adult, even his mom or teacher to hurt him, but at the same time not scare him?

Concerned Aunt

Dear Concerned Aunt,

Helping children understand that there are behaviors that adults do which are wrong is an important yet tricky thing to do. Parents want their children to respect adults but at the same time recognize when an adult is crossing a line and harming them. I have found that the best way to do this is to first identify any harmful behavior that would make the child uncomfortable. For instance, I would say something like this to a…