Question: My 9 yr old son is very intelligent, very tender-hearted and very strong-willed. It’s proven to be a very challenging combination. I am now at the point where I feel like I am not sure how to help him, and I cannot accept his behavior anymore. He is extremely disrespectful, especially to me, he feels as though he is always right, and the most painful problem is that he feels like he is not treated, or even loved, the same as his older brother or younger sister. I have tried talking to him, grounding him, spanking him, and now I even find myself getting so frustrated with his attitude and hateful words that I am yelling at him. This is not the parent I want to be, and it’s not the relationship I want with my son. He is a different child at school, and I frequently get compliments from the teacher of the gifted program that he is in about how pleasant, polite, & well-mannered he is. I don’t understand why, no matter how hard I try, I can’t get the same behavior at home.

Dr. Meg’s Response:Your son’s behavior is pretty typical for a smart, obstinate, bright…